"You can change your name, but you can't change your mind" observed my three-year-old.
She was talking about her cousin, whose parents had decided to change the little girl's name just as people were getting used to it.
But the same could be said of Delhi (now Delhi NCR, and spreading deep into Uttar Pradesh and Haryana). It has grown in size and stature, but it still the same old Delhi - chaotic, frustrating, irritating but endearing nevertheless.
And that impression starts to form right at the airport. It feels like a city under seige. A city either threatend by or grappling with a major pandemic.
All around you, there are masked officials and a few body heat scanners - to which people react in the same way as they did when they first came across CCTV camera. How do I look in this? Do I look better if I stick my tongue out? Or put the thumb on my nose?
The threat is indeed serious. Five months and mountains of paperwork later, the airport is still diligently putting together Swine Flu information about every passenger who flies into Delhi.
Most travellers answer NO to every question asked (and some have all the NOs ticked by the helpful health workers). A signature is then put on the form and a counterfoil given to present to the immigration officer.
Making my way through the Swine Flu queue, I imagined a situation where someone actually reports to a hospital with the case of Swine Flu. The Government Committee on Safe Public Health (remember I'm imagining this) asks for quick information on the flight this person arrived on and the passengers who were seated close to him/her on the flight. "This pandemic must be controlled quickly and the patient's co-passengers located immediately."
Delhi International Airport Limited puts the number of passengers that passed through the airport last year at 22.84 million. That comes to about 1.9 million (19 Lakh) passengers a month, or about 9.5 million (95 Lakh) passengers over five months.
This is where my imagination stops. How would one look through 9.5 million forms to get to the one that related to the scare-creator. Maybe it is all catalogued nicely in some big warehouse. But that isn't the impression one gets at the airport. The impression is more like as long as we can prove that the information was originally collected, the process is working. Organising the information and making it easily searchable is someone else's responsibility!
This is something I have found hard to understand over the years. For a country that prides itself in processing and mining data all over the world, our approach to public information is quite low-tech. More so, considering that the contract for this "health screening" would have gone to a private firm - in all probability.
Anyway, I digress. It was a bit more comforting stepping out of the airport. I know the drill here and it has worked perfectly every time. Go to a Pre-paid Taxi counter, get a voucher and make your way to the taxi queue.
It didn't take much time to get a taxi, but the driver a hitch as he reached the Delhi Traffic Police's check-out desk (yes, it is physical desk in the middle of a road).
A jovial, but stern cop wouldn't let the taxi driver pass. They seemed to know each other and the taxi driver rolled up a 100-rupee note and tried to shake hands with the cop. After a few feeble protests, the cop shook hands.
"What exactly was that?" I enquired as taxi moved away.
"Sir, I don't have a driving licence and the cop knows it," the taxi-driver said. "So every now and then he stops me to get money."
What? My family is travelling in a taxi driven by an unlicenced driver? So, what was that elaborate cop-issues-the-voucher-cop-checks-the-taxi-out ritual? Wasn't it meant to protect me or other visitors to the city from such risky situations?
It was about to get more interesting. Just a kilometre from the airport, the taxi stalled. "You will have to wait some time, sir. Another guy will take the taxi from here to your house".
"But we have had a long journey and it is getting hotter by the minute. In any case, why did you pick us up if you didn't want to drive to our house."
"Sir, we have divided the tasks. I wait at the airport and drive the taxis out of it. Then someone else takes over and takes the passengers home".
Right. Sounds just like the kind of situation that makes it to the newspapers. 'NRI FAMILY ROBBED, BEATEN UP NEAR AIRPORT. DELHI POLICE ORDERS CRACKDOWN'
God, that is such an old and unimaginative headline. But that is the reality of Delhi.
Even as Delhi NCR, it functions like Delhi of 10 years ago. Contractors earn lakhs of rupees printing Swine Flu forms, supplying Protective Masks and providing 'Health Workers' at the airport. Traffic Police officials shake hands and roll taxis in and out of the airport without a bother about who drives these or how safe they are.
Don't know whether my little girl meant this precisely, but changing the name doesn't change the thinking or the mindset.
If she did, that was sharp observation, my dear!
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