Another day, another affidavit

Looks like the need for the affidavits isn't over yet.

Among the documents requested by Shri Ram School is an affidavit stating my address, the name of my daughter, that she is my first and only child and the date we moved to India.

Thankfully, they have provided a set proforma for the same - which I took to the Patiala House district courts on Wednesday.

My usual lawyer wasn't there, but his typist and office boy were.

The office boy recognised me straightaway. You did take four or five of these recently, didn't you? I nodded. No problems, we can do this for you. It'll cost you 300 rupees. I reminded him that this wasn't a Magistrate's Affidavit and in any case had paid 200 rupees the last time. Don't worry about the price, Sir. Tell me what needs to be done.

I didn't want to wait and asked when the lawyer would come. You don't need him for the affidavit, the typist said. So who will notarise the affidavit? There are many others around who can do it. And he will charge you much more than I would.

And what exactly would the standard affidavit cost me? 100 rupees. I asked him if the word IDIOT was writ large on my face. Why? I reminded him that the lawyer had charged me 80 rupees only. OK, just give me 70 rupees, he said as he started typing the affidavit.

Even though I had seen the set-up before, it impressed me. The main machine was a laptop with Windows Vista on it. This was wirelessly connected to a keyboard and a printer. Months (probably, years) of practice meant the words were flowing quickly.

Unfortunately, the language wasn't as effortless. The typos I could live with, but seeing "for the 2010-2011 academic session" into "for the 2010-2011 academic secession" frightened me a bit. I am not a revolutionary, sir, and have no intentions of breaking up the school. They are the only school to have offered a seat to my daughter.

Thankfully, I read and understand what those words meant. Imagine the plight of an uneducated individual, who is already struggling to make sense of charges against him/her, putting their signature (or more probably, their thumb impression) to:

"I am ____ s/0, d/o, w/o _________ r/o ________ do hereby solemnly affirm and state as follows:

*That I will make myself available at the next secession of the court.

I have read and understood the contents of this Affidavit, which
has been drafted by me / under my instructions and I say that the
contents thereof are true and correct to my knowledge."