I was unable to write this past week, as my brother-in-law was visiting us with his family.
The visit had been long overdue, and - despite the searing heat - we wanted to make the most of it.
There were the usual Delhi attractions - Qutb Minar, Red Fort, India Gate, Shankar's International Dolls Museum, Dilli Haat and Akshardham Temple. There was the customary night-time drive through Lutyen's Delhi........And there was the visit to doctors and hospital.
No, nothing to worry about. My brother-in-law had some swelling in his feet and wanted a general medical check-up done.
Now, Preventive Health Checks are quite popular in this city. Apart from companies that sign up their employees to make sure they don't konk off one fine morning, the average man/woman also get themselves checked reasonably regularly.
There are quite a few diagnostics centres close to our house, but they aren't much use unless you know which tests to get done. So, we opted for general Preventive Health Checks offered by Apollo Hospital or Max Panchsheel.
Both of these conduct tests on all vital organs and are offer reasonably-priced packages. The trouble is they always book more people for the tests than they have capacity for.
I wasn't too pleased with my Preventive Health Check experience at Apollo, three years ago. The place was crawling with well-dressed Customer Service people, with no clue how to manage the tests. I and my parents were rushed from one room to the other.
The only two people reasonably free, back then, were the General Practitioner and the Health & Lifestyle Consultant. Both of them asked the same set of questions - Smoke/Don't Smoke, Drink/Don't Drink, Exercise/Don't Exercise etc etc - before handing over advice on how to lead a healthy life.
Max was untested, had slightly better reputation and is close to our house - so the decision wasn't too difficult. And in this heat, the "centrally air-conditioned facility providing in-house diagnostic service facilities" pitch was quite appealing.
Quite why the in-house diagnostic facilities would need four days to generate a report was beyond me, but the place was worth a try.
When my better half and her brother landed at the MedCentre, they were impressed. A token was quickly handed for "billing purposes". They were signed in and the process was soon underway.
The first few tests went fine and then the confidence started crumbling. After one of the tests, my brother-in-law found himself holding another patient's document. It seemed the doctor had seen the right guy but made observations in the wrong guy's document.
By mid-day, all the tests were done. Please come on Saturday for the report, my brother-in-law was told. Some nudging and strong words from my better half, and they could do the report for Friday.
On Thursday, that commitment ended as Dr Kalra isn't in on Friday. Dr Kalra is the General Practitioner who would have made sense of all those graphs, numbers and strange notations. Please come at 8.30 am on Saturday for your report and consultation with Dr Kalra.
At 6 in the morning on Saturday, they probably sent an SMS to say Dr Kalra won't be in that day either.
Since my brother-in-law was leaving on Sunday, there was no time to wait for Dr Kalra to come into work. Would you like to see a gynaecologist?, asked the Duty Manager helpfully. After a moment of gender-confusion, my brother-in-law refused the offer.
Our local doctor said the report did not explain the swelling in the feet. Why don't you get Thyroid and Colour Doppler Test?
The Thyroid test was quite straight-forward, but the Colour Doppler was fun. It was conducted at a Diagnostics Centre in south Delhi and involved a technician and a doctor.
The technician followed the doctor's instructions as moved the ultrasound sensor on a pregnant woman's tummy. When he was quiet, the technician quickly opened the internet browser and got about finishing her profile on jeevansathi.com - a matrimonial website.
The pregnant woman may have wanted to focus on her baby, but the technician had other things on her mind.
Thankfully, the details of the Colour Doppler and the matrimonial question didn't mix up. After an eventful day - in which my brother-in-law was offered an appointment with the gynaecologist - he was still Male, 35 and with swelling in his feet.
31 May 2010
21 May 2010
Papa ji's statement of account
Papa ji wanted to speak with you, the landlady said I walked in to hand over the monthly rent.
It was almost 10 in the night and I wasn't expecting the old man to be awake at this hour.
He wakes up early to run the local shakha of Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh. With a flag-pole in one hand and a milk-container in the other, I have seen Papa ji go to the local park every morning. There, he is joined by other old men in khaki shorts and white shirts. They do light exercises before the old man goes to the local dairy to pick up milk.
Papa ji was saying his prayers in a shoe-cupboard-turned-temple, just by the dining table. I have prepared a statement of account, he said pointing towards the table. Please have a look.
The file reflect a lifetime spent creating and pushing files in a government department. On one side was stapled an A4 sheet detailing expenditure related to our floor, with a summary of Advance Paid, Expenditure, Money Owed and a request for Further Advance. On the other side, were bills to illustrate the statement of account.
The last line of the statement caught my attention. Almost three grand for maintenance and refilling of gas for the air-conditioners.
That work had happened earlier in the evening. When I returned home, two guys were busy washing the air-conditioners in the house. The bathroom was covered in black soot and they were asking for more water. Looks like these air-conditioners haven't been serviced for a while, one of them said. The AC in living room was was nearly out of gas and the ones in the bedrooms are so dirty.
We had suspected a problem with the living room AC. Even hours after being switched on, it would hardly cool the room.
Purely by chance, the landlady called in some guys to service her air-conditioners this week. The ACs haven't been cooling the room so we are getting them serviced, she told my better-half. On being asked if the upstairs ACs could be looked at too, the landlady reluctantly agreed.
Now the old man wanted me to pick up the tab for that. And for the electrician's effort at mending a fan that wasn't working and had sparked off following his intervention. And for the door-bell that sparked off with the malfunctioning fan. And for the new fan that replaced the old one.
Can you please explain why should I pay for the servicing of air-conditioners? Because it has run out of gas due to your use. You must be joking. An AC doesn't run out of gas after just 20-odd days of use. Since you are using the AC, you must pay for any work on it. Sorry, I am only responsible for running costs like water, gas and electricity and for mending things which malfunction because of our misuse. Then, you must talk to Krishan.
Krishan? Who the hell was Krishan? And why should I talk to him? But before I could blurt these questions out, I realised it must be Mr Raina - the pudgy son of Papa ji. The landlady always refers to him as "Mr Raina, who works out of Jammu & Kashmir".
In my eight months in this house, I have rarely interacted with Mr Raina (Krishan). Whenever he is in town, he keeps to the house - watching religious programmes on TV channels or listening to religious songs.
He may be employed with the Indian government, as his name doesn't appear on any of the leases we have signed. The rent goes in the name of Papa ji, the landlady and her college-going son. I reckon none of them have any income apart from the rent, and are extremely unlikely to be paying tax.
But back to the statement of account. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, Papa ji is a hard of hearing - more so, when questioned about his financial demands.
Take the file with you as I have the photocopies, he said. When Krishan comes, you can discuss the payments with him.
It seemed sensible as I didn't wanted to spend the night talking to an almost-deaf man.
On returning upstairs, I noticed other gems in the statement. We are supposed to pick up the water costs of the entire property, and contribute towards the costs of plumber who comes in primarily to do the landlord's work!!
It was almost 10 in the night and I wasn't expecting the old man to be awake at this hour.
He wakes up early to run the local shakha of Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh. With a flag-pole in one hand and a milk-container in the other, I have seen Papa ji go to the local park every morning. There, he is joined by other old men in khaki shorts and white shirts. They do light exercises before the old man goes to the local dairy to pick up milk.
Papa ji was saying his prayers in a shoe-cupboard-turned-temple, just by the dining table. I have prepared a statement of account, he said pointing towards the table. Please have a look.
The file reflect a lifetime spent creating and pushing files in a government department. On one side was stapled an A4 sheet detailing expenditure related to our floor, with a summary of Advance Paid, Expenditure, Money Owed and a request for Further Advance. On the other side, were bills to illustrate the statement of account.
The last line of the statement caught my attention. Almost three grand for maintenance and refilling of gas for the air-conditioners.
That work had happened earlier in the evening. When I returned home, two guys were busy washing the air-conditioners in the house. The bathroom was covered in black soot and they were asking for more water. Looks like these air-conditioners haven't been serviced for a while, one of them said. The AC in living room was was nearly out of gas and the ones in the bedrooms are so dirty.
We had suspected a problem with the living room AC. Even hours after being switched on, it would hardly cool the room.
Purely by chance, the landlady called in some guys to service her air-conditioners this week. The ACs haven't been cooling the room so we are getting them serviced, she told my better-half. On being asked if the upstairs ACs could be looked at too, the landlady reluctantly agreed.
Now the old man wanted me to pick up the tab for that. And for the electrician's effort at mending a fan that wasn't working and had sparked off following his intervention. And for the door-bell that sparked off with the malfunctioning fan. And for the new fan that replaced the old one.
Can you please explain why should I pay for the servicing of air-conditioners? Because it has run out of gas due to your use. You must be joking. An AC doesn't run out of gas after just 20-odd days of use. Since you are using the AC, you must pay for any work on it. Sorry, I am only responsible for running costs like water, gas and electricity and for mending things which malfunction because of our misuse. Then, you must talk to Krishan.
Krishan? Who the hell was Krishan? And why should I talk to him? But before I could blurt these questions out, I realised it must be Mr Raina - the pudgy son of Papa ji. The landlady always refers to him as "Mr Raina, who works out of Jammu & Kashmir".
In my eight months in this house, I have rarely interacted with Mr Raina (Krishan). Whenever he is in town, he keeps to the house - watching religious programmes on TV channels or listening to religious songs.
He may be employed with the Indian government, as his name doesn't appear on any of the leases we have signed. The rent goes in the name of Papa ji, the landlady and her college-going son. I reckon none of them have any income apart from the rent, and are extremely unlikely to be paying tax.
But back to the statement of account. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, Papa ji is a hard of hearing - more so, when questioned about his financial demands.
Take the file with you as I have the photocopies, he said. When Krishan comes, you can discuss the payments with him.
It seemed sensible as I didn't wanted to spend the night talking to an almost-deaf man.
On returning upstairs, I noticed other gems in the statement. We are supposed to pick up the water costs of the entire property, and contribute towards the costs of plumber who comes in primarily to do the landlord's work!!
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